I know it's a few days late, but I've just been so busy that I haven't had time to write this.
I'm texting KK. Somehow the conversation turns to my life. She tells me that I have a ton of friends, and that everyone likes me. I feel the urge to counter the argument,
"Why do I always feel alone? Why do I just sit in the corner at lunch after failing to get engaged in conversation? Why am I always that one person who wasn't invited? Why do entire musical rehearsals go by without me saying a word to anyone?"
And she responds with this long text:
"Sometimes you have to sit there and listen. I know youre probably sick of listening cuz thats what youve been doing a lot anyways, but its more of laughing at the moments and being there to show people you care. Even if you sit there, people have you in their head that you can be trusted, but it takes just patience i guess. Youre not invited because you dont have a facebook, brahh. I didnt used to be invited but i got more involved in facebook and communication. And now youre finally texting so you can do those things. Its about networking. Musical people talk to talk. You talk for a reason. I admire the "reason" talking more but you have to talk to be heard. And again if you dont wanna talk you listen again. Youll gain knowledge and people will remember the trust. I realize how stupid this all is. I hate it. Its societal pressures and social difficulties but thats firking high school. And you have so much going for you that sometimes people just dont see you as the kid round the corner. Youre gonna be something so special and so much bigger that high school networking doesnt even matter and people know that. If you want to get involved, your questions are welcomed but this is how i see all of it. And i hate it."
I've thought about it, and I think I need to try it. What she said is true in many ways. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm quiet and embrace it. But I can't help but wonder what I should do/
-NM
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