Conclusion

Today was a highly anticipated day. High school graduation.

Like most plane rides, it was quite uneventful, which is a good thing. As Mr. S put it, "Today is a little bit about you, but it's mostly about your family." That was very true. The speeches were nice, though I believe one didn't fit the context very well. Didn't even get actual diplomas, only ceremonial ones.  As RC said in his speech, today wasn't the event we're going to remember forever. It's what we did the past 13 years.

Afterwards was a brief celebration with the class, followed by finally finding my family.  We took some pictures, came home, had some cake, and I got some presents. 

I won't say it was disappointing, simply because I didn't expect much. Nor important, as I kind of knew I was going to graduate high school already. More than anything, it was a grand ending to this chapter of our lives.

As this chapter ends, I believe that what began with an introduction must end with a conclusion. Specifically, Changed for Good concludes with this post.

Not only is this the proper time to end such a work, but I will admit there are logistical reasons as well. One is that I will have a hard time in the summer keeping up the blog, and even more of a hard time in college. The other is that, quite frankly, the blog is dying.  It is hardly read anymore, and I have to force myself to keep it updated.

This conclusion shall begin a tribute to several people who I intended to write about, but never found the perfect opportunity.

KD: KD is one of those people who has always been around when you need him there. He's funny, but also dedicated.  Talented, but also relaxed. We've known each other a long time, and I'm certainly going to miss him next year.

RS: We met several years ago at PAC, and have maintained a very good friendship since. She always has a smile on her face, or her face is extremely red with embarassment.  In fact, if she's reading this, her face is probably red now. But that's okay. It's a nice feature, and highlights her lovely personality.

AG: He's one of the few friends Ive been able to keep since elementary school. We're both math people, we both like music, and we both play piano at a high level. As I've said before, it would have been harder to avoid being friends. And I'm glad we haven't avoided it.

There are more. And there will always be more.  I just can't possibly name everyone. I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, and there are too many people who have helped me to grow to name everyone. I'm truly sorry.

Second, I wish to include an abbreviated classic: 

Year in Review 2013-2014

• #3: January 26th, 2014: It's hard to place what made this day extremely special. It was St. Sava Day at church. I was the honored domačin, and I got to give the Dobrodošlica (Welcoming Address).  I even screwed up, and had to pull out the paper with the words on it.  I just remember feeling really happy doing it. Maybe it came from singing Uskliklimo several times with the choir earlier.  Probably the Holy Spirit had a lot to do with it. But it felt special. And I can't really explain it here.
• #2: December 13th, 2013: This is a joy that all seniors in high school will understand.  We all go through this process.  We look at schools, visit schools, read about schools, talk about schools, and finally apply to schools. Throughout the process, you end up deciding on what school you really like. If you're like me, you make that decision fairly early.  On this day, I received my acceptance letter from CMU.  The satisfaction associated with getting into my first school choice is incomparable. 
• #1: June 1st, 2014: This was an amazing show experience. I was in some amazing numbers. I was challenged, and not bored. It was energizing, and above all, a lot of fun! I got to make my final statement as a dancer. The evening show was the greatest thing ever. There was applause in the middle of my solo, at parts I never expected. The crowd was amazing. We were taking extra bows at the end. I got a very warm reception from the other dancers in my class, which was one of the best parts of the entire thing. All week long, people were calling it one of the best dance shows we've ever done as a studio, maybe the best. The final week of class I said my goodbyes, but I'm sure I'm going to visit. I'm truly going to miss it.

And that is that. The best days of this past year. 

I will be keeping the blog online. I see no reason to take it down, especially since I probably enjoy reading old posts more than anyone else. The popular posts will be maintained by the system's widget (however inaccurate it may be).

I leave you with these words, my faithful and devoted readers.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for Good.

With all due respect,

-NM

WDA Spring Dance Show 2014

I have given up on trying to understand audiences. Sometimes you just have no idea what they're going to react to.

I was really excited for today. I loved all the dances I was in, and knew that this had the potential to be one of the best dance shows ever.  The only dance I was a little worried for was Nothing for Nothing, just because I was still getting the hang of it, but I wasn't terribly nervous. Just anxious.

The first show went very well. Putting on the Ritz was a little bit of a case of "How many times can you screw up and have nobody notice?", but it got a very good reception. I actually did Nothing for Nothing decently.  99 Potcakes was good from what I could see. And the finale seemed to get people involved extremely well.  It got a good reception from the audience, and we all left the stage satisfied.

Between shows, everybody went to Panera Bread for lunch, and then we came back for warmups. This time I was nervous. It was going to be my last WDA spring dance show.  Then, while we were stretching onstage, I made the mistake of saying the name of the Scottish Shakespeare play. That didn't help my nerves.

I think what calmed me down was watching Those Were the Days and Swing Break do their dances the best they had ever done them.  The crowd was into it, and then it was time to go on for Putting on the Ritz.  And I nailed it. Twice, the audience started applauding in the middle of the number, and at the end I actually ended up taking two bows. I felt really good about it, probably the best it's ever been, and was glad it got a good reception.

Nothing for Nothing and Potcakes both went very well. In general, the crowd was extremely energized, and got into all of the dances. The finale was a little emotional, but I was able to channel the energy. The audience started clapping along near the end, which I would never have predicted could have happened in that dance.  At the end, I got a book from Miss B and Miss L, signed, and my own bow. The audience was crazy. When the curtain closed, I exchanged hugs with my class.

Being the only senior was hard. It did get me a lot of attention, but it's also knowing that dance will go on without me. It's quite a different feeling from musical, where a lot of us are leaving, and you know that if you came back anyway it wouldn't be the same. Here, I truly feel like I'm leaving everyone behind.

I didn't cry at the musical cast party.  That was a four year experience, and three months out of those years. This was eight years, nine months a year.  I don't think it's even a tough comparison.  Although I can't say the friendships are as strong, I do feel like I've gotten to know everyone.

I do have one more week of class, though I'm going to miss Monday for the orchestra concert. The goodbyes are still to come.  But today was still a great day. And an important one.

-NM

Gene Kelly Awards 2014

Sorry, this post is long overdue, but at least I'm getting it up.

WA won Best Musical for Budget III.

They haven't performed in years, and it was notorious among the students that they never got nominated for anything.  And this year, they won two major awards: Best Actor and Best Musical.

How does this thing happen?  They looked really good performing.  I didn't see their show, but I still find it hard to imagine that it was that much better than previous years.  The way I see it, the Kelly judges have likely been holding out on them.

Nevertheless, I'm really happy for them.  (And CK can return to dance class...)

We didn't win anything.  I don't care that much, I never really did.  I can't say I honestly expected us to win anything.  If I had to pick one that we may have stood the best chance at, I would have said Best Direction, but it doesn't really matter.

I'm not sure what the best alternative to the Gene Kelly Awards would be.  To everyone's credit, the environment was very friendly, and not overly competitive.  Maybe a showcase of sorts, where some of the best shows are invited to perform, as well as the best actors and actresses.  I don't know if enough people would come and see that though.

I did have a good time.  However, I can't say that looking back it's going to be a highlight of the school year.  I'm still more excited for my last dance show than anything else.  I would do it again, though I'm glad it didn't get any more involved than a rehearsal and a run through the day of.

-NM

Wavin' Flag

Singing forever young
Singing songs underneath the sun
Let's rejoice in the beautiful game

This is setting up to be one of the most fun dance shows that I've ever been in.  The dances are fun, I'm in four of them, and I even have my first solo.

But what's going to cap it all off is the finale.  The finale is just an all-out fun number.  It's loose, the steps aren't overly complicated, and the song is exciting.  There are a lot of people on stage.  Hopefully, it's just going to radiate energy into the seats.

All in all, the perfect way to end a show.

For costumes, everyone is starting with a white t-shirt.  On the front, it needs to have either the flag of a nation, or indicating the colors of the flag of a nation.  Also, it should be creative.  Be personal.  That way, it'll be a special moment when we have all sorts of nations up there at the end of the show.

For me, the nation choice was obvious.  Serbia is where my family came from, I go to a Serbian church, and Serbia shall be on the front of my shirt.  The back is a tribute to the fact that this will be the costume of the final dance of the final spring performance that I do with WDA.

It's a little touching to think about, but I'm glad that I'm going out on this.  It's going to be an exciting finish to what's been a great eight years.  I'm definitely going to miss it.  That much is certain.

And together at the end of the day
We all say:
When I grow older
I will be stronger
They'll call me freedom
Just like a Wavin' Flag

-NM

Letters vs. Modern Communication

Despite all that is done to advance modern technology, to make it faster and easier to get in touch with people, letters are still a far superior method of communication.

Modern communication is so much faster.  You can send an email, and have it replied to before you've gotten off the computer.  You can text someone, and keep up conversations with multiple people at once, while having a real conversation with someone else.  With all these snapchats and social medias, you can send pictures, so you can even make faces at people.  With 3G, Wi-Fi, 4G, each new internet seeming to reduce the time it takes to load something from 0.01 seconds to 0.001 seconds (that's ten times faster, and clearly saves you a significant 0.009 seconds), you don't have to wait for anything.

Why then are letters superior?

It's quite simple actually.  Ironically, it's because they're slow.

You write someone a letter.  You put it in the mail.  And you wait.  But you don't just sit around and do nothing.  You go about your normal life.  Every day, you check the mail, even when it's so early that you know they couldn't have possibly responded yet.  And then, when the day arrives, you're filled with a feeling of joy that can hardly be described.

You read the letter, and there's a month's worth of information in it.  Even better, all the information's important.  It contains all the stuff you want to know, and none of the unimportant junk you see on social media.  He or she has answered all of your questions, and has several more for you.

And there's no instant rush to respond.  If you have to wait a day, that's fine.  When you do write, you take your time, and put thought into what you say.  The amount of information you cram in your words is amazing.  And you ask more questions.  And the cycle continues.

Obviously, letters are not for people that you see on a daily basis.  Neither is any form of modern communication.  The best method for those people predates letters: actually real live conversation.

I write with three people now.  Next year, when I'm away at college, I hope to write with even more.  I made the offer at the cast party, asking for people's addresses, and two people took me up on it.  I'm grateful for those two, though I'm going to want more than that.  It won't be complicated or overly time consuming, as I won't be spending too much time texting or social mediaing.  Just the best way to stay in touch with people there is.

-NM

Gene Kelly Nominations

The Gene Kelly Awards is among one of the worst ideas ever to strike musical theater.  It's right up there with whoever decided to make musicals out of movies, and not the reverse.  Reasons for disdain are as follows:

• If done properly, the same schools would win year after year after year, as some directors are simply better than others, and some schools have a larger talent pool than others.
• In an effort to avoid number one, the judges avoid selecting the same schools every year, which results in the best shows rarely winning.
• They are so specific to the point where people are designing their shows and budgeting their shows around what the Kelly judges are looking for.  And if you're really good, but not what they're looking for (KM), you don't get nominated, and that is wrong.
• Not all schools participate, and so the winners get the sense that their shows are the best of all, though normally they're not.

However, the following is my biggest complaint:

• They create a spirit of competition within the performance environment.  This is entirely unnecessary in the art world.  Musical is not a sport.  It's reached the point where backstage before our show, people were hoping they did better on certain nights when the Kelly judges were there.  Furthermore, competitive spirit is never good in the arts.  Many of my companions know what it is doing to dance.  I don't want the same thing to happen to high school musicals.  It is perfectly fine if two schools put on really good shows.  It is perfectly fine if thirty schools put on really good shows.  It should be about the audience, not about the judges.

Nevertheless, the cast of Pirates of Penzance finds themselves nominated for Best Costume Design, Best Ensemble, Best Direction, Best Actor (PH), and Best Musical.  We will be performing downtown.  It will be fun.  But there are other ways to have fun.

-NM

The End is Near

It is happening.  The school year is coming to a close.  I can list the things that are going to still happen before graduation.

• AP Chemistry Test
• Orchestra Concert with Middle School
• Final Piano Recital
• AP Music Theory Test
• Potential Gene Kelly Awards
• Final Chorus Concert
• Final Dance Recital
• Final Orchestra Concert
• Graduation from High School

And then that's it.  A great portion of people I never see again.  At the very least, never all at once.

I have a lot to look forward to in the next month and 11 days.  I have performances galore, and lots to think about.  I have my last hurrahs in chorus, orchestra, piano, and dance.  I have my last hurrahs in high school (though that's seriously starting to wind down).

And how do I get through it?  Well, I'm not exactly alone.

So many of us are in the same situation right now.  175 of us will be leaving QVHS at the end of this year.  Some of us were more involved than others, but all of us will be leaving.  Some people I don't even know if I want to see again, but we all will be leaving.

It's not as depressing as I make it sound.  It's like senior year of musical.  Although it's over, it's not the end of everything.  I will still see my friends, and we will all still have good times with each other.  Not as frequently, but there will be new friends, and new times with others.  We will still have the old experiences, and we will embrace the new.  It's a transition.

And it's coming soon.

-NM

To My Readers:

April 23rd, 2014

To My Few Remaining Readers:

I apologize that I have offended people in my previous post.  The comments have suggested to me that I gave the wrong message, and this has been bothering me these past several days.  I would attempt to correct myself, but I will not formally for fear of another poor choice of words.  As I said before, I do not hate homosexuals, non-Christians, or anyone else.

If there is anyone out there who agrees with me (I fear there isn't), I assure you that I have not changed perspective.  I do feel like I have been "silenced, and criticized by society for not being accepting", but I will not take the post down.  Regardless of what you believe, it is at least as valid a viewpoint as the alternative.  

I will refrain from writing similar posts in the future.  

On a completely unrelated note, I am sure you have noticed that the number of posts I have written has dwindled significantly.  I apologize, but, as you can imagine, writing for a blog is not the priority of my life right now.  I also am aware that views are at a record low, and I would imagine that less than 18 people will read this post.  Know this: the end of the blog is near.

At school next year, I have for sure decided that I definitely want to write letters.  Provided I can get the addresses of people, and that people write back.  Hopefully it won't be an issue, but I fear it will be.

With all due respect, and again, my apologies,

-NM

Easter 2014

"Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tomb bestowing life!"

April 20th, 2014

To My Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Hristos Voskrese! Christ is Risen!  A Happy Easter to all!  We reach the end of Great Lent, and now can rejoice in Christ's victory over death!  We are now freed from the fast, and the rigor involved in such, as we move into Bright Week, and can finally return to a normal prayer schedule, eat anything we want, etc.  If I know my audience correctly enough, I believe we are all at the age where we realize that Easter has been secularized almost as much as Christmas in modern society.  The more we can remove ourselves from this secularization the more we can bring ourselves closer to the true focus of the Great Feast: Christ's Resurrection!

Our faith is beginning to be persecuted in this country.  It is not said that Christianity is socially unacceptable, but it is starting to reach the point where the pillars of Christianity are.  More and more groups, sports teams, and performers are having meetings, practices, and rehearsals on Sundays, casually requiring people to miss Church (or worse, stop people from attending on any sort of regular basis).  Evolution and mythology are taught in public schools, yet it is not acceptable to teach the True Faith.  As stated before, both Christmas and Easter have become secularized and commercialized to the point where the true meaning of the holidays has become lost to many of us.  

In my opinion, the strongest persecutions come from the encouraging of sin.  For those who do not approve of many sinful practices, including homosexuality (condemned in Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9), and abortions (condemned indirectly in Exodus 20:13; Amos 1:13; Galatians 1:15), they are silenced, and criticized by society for not being accepting.  God does not teach us to be accepting of other beliefs.  He teaches us to "love one another", but also to "make disciples of all nations".  The United States was founded on freedom of religion, not the absence of religion.  We can be true to our roots while strong in the Lord.

St. Paul writes to Timothy in his second letter, "All who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution," (3:12).  That has been true for all eternity, and is true even today.  I am not calling for all of us to become monks and nuns (though I would greatly honor anyone willing to devote themselves to such), but I am warning you.  Our society is heading in the wrong direction spiritually, and we as Christians need to make sure that we do not head in the wrong direction with it.  We also need to encourage one another that we do not stumble.  This need be our creed.

I wish to conclude with a story that most of you are likely not familiar with.  St. Macarius the Great of Egypt was walking, saw a skull upon the ground, and asked it who it was.  The skull replied that he was the chief priest of the pagans, and was currently tormented in hell.  St. Macarius asked if there were worse torments.  The skull replied, "Down below us are located those, which did know the Name of God, but spurned Him and kept not His commandments. They endure yet more grievous torments".  None of us want to be tormented in hell.  I urge to to keep the faith and trust in the Lord.  We are all sinners in Christ, including myself, but that is not a reason to ignore the Lord's commandments.

Grace be with you all.  Pray for each other.

-NM

To My Fellow Non-Christians,

Greetings!  If you have not been living under a rock, you know today is Easter, a Christian feast day that marks the Resurrection of Christ, our savior, after he was crucified and killed, and of His triumph over death in the Resurrection.  In the true fashion of the holiday, there are no adorable bunnies involved, though it would not shock me if some of you have reached the point where you venerate the easter bunny's arrival.  Personally, I believe the easter bunny stands for gluttony, and try to keep myself away from it as much as possible.

For those of you who were once Christians, but have fallen away from the faith, I encourage you to read the last paragraph of my letter above.  I realize many of you probably did already.  Those who do not believe that God does not exist have not observed what is around you, and are unaware of the many miracles that have occurred in his name, and the many witnesses of Christ.  For those of you who feel the God is not worthy of worship deny their own existence, and the existence of the world around them.

Many of you have been raised outside of Christianity, and have simply never been exposed to the faith. To you, I wish to give a brief introduction.  I include here the first 17 verses of the Gospel according to St. John.  John was a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God in his three year ministry, and his Gospel, or Good News, is one of four books of the Holy Bible that details the Life of Christ.  He is not the John mentioned below, as that was St. John the Forerunner.  The passage below was read today in Orthodox Christian Churches everywhere, and serves as a prelude to the history told in the later chapters.

1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2. He was in the beginning with God.
3. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.
4. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
5. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
6. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
7. This man came for a witness, to beat witness of the Light, that all through him might believe.
8. He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
9. That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world.
10. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.
11. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.
12. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:
13. who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
14. And the World became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
15. John bore witness of Him and cried out, saying, "This is He of whom I said, 'He who comes after me is preferred before me, for He was before me.'"
16. And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace.
17. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

And then there are those of who are officially considered christians, but read this letter, and maybe questioning whether they have earned the title.  I commend you for doing this.  Even if you believe only in justification by faith (which I personally find ridiculous), you must acknowledge that Faith in God is more than belief.  The faithful servant does not only believe, but believes and obeys.  We are called upon to do good in the world, and to love both God and each other.  Some of us call ourselves Christians, but rarely pray, never attend services, ignore the fasts, and put greater importance into worldly matters.  I ask you, is this the Christian way of life?  We are all called to be disciples of Christ, and we must live up to what it is to be called a Christian.

Grace be with you all.  We pray that you may find Christ.

-NM

KP

I must say, this is another one of those people that I look back, and realize that I've known for forever.  We would have first met my first year of dance, when we did "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy".  I can't say we got to know each other then really well, but we at least met.  It was a good dance.  And I gained a respect for her as a dancer.

We are in the same level now, and have been for several years.  Again, none of my best friends are at dance.  We only talk minimally, we don't text, we don't see each other except for dance classes, and I go to less of those than anyone else.  Yet I know she's someone I'm going to miss next year.

I probably see more of myself in KP than I do in anyone else that I dance with.  She's hardworking, and  has a good spirit.  Obviously, she dances. (And a lot better than I do I might add.  Maybe the only person even close to my age that I know who can practically whip out five pirouettes on cue).  She's smart, and is respected for that, even has the few years ahead in math going for her.  Always wanting to go to the extra level (her and AL getting the jacket sales organized).  I must say, I do feel like I possess many of these same qualities.

Because of this, I do find it easier to keep a conversation with her than most of the people that I dance with.  Just yesterday, we had what I felt was a really good conversation.  We talked about Wicked (which I've updated my post about), school, AP classes, and a whole bunch of stuff.  It's amazing.  I've said before that having the same experiences are what often leads to conversation and ultimately friendship.  Well, maybe just having similar personalities can do the same thing.

In my last year of dance, I feel like I need to cherish every moment that I have with these people, especially since I know I won't be staying in touch with them.  This was a great moment.

-NM

The Speech I Didn't Give

Traditionally at musical, all the seniors give speeches at the cast party.  When thinking about what to talk about, I considered two options in my mind.  I felt that this one was a lot more coherent and thought out, but I didn't give it for two reasons:

• It would have spent most of the time talking about people who weren't there, and the underclassmen may not have even known.
• It would have simply been an excuse to make people cry, starting with the seniors and working its way down to the freshmen

Why am I putting it here?  Because it is dedicated to the people who have had an important impact on my life.  Without further ado...

Seven People I want to thank who aren't at the cast party (all who have done QV shows in the past)

Senior of Crazy for You: MG
Primarily because she was the first (and only) person to ask me, "[NM], why aren't we dating?"  I couldn't take that as a proposal, she had another boyfriend at the time, but it was nice to be noticed like that.

Senior of Guys and Dolls: BT
Always someone I could talk to at just about any time.  And what he wrote in my yearbook may be the greatest thing ever: "[N], Ever since I've known you in Honk, you have been a great friend to me! I know you are going to do well in whatever you set your mind to! And just remember one thing, no matter what may be said to you in your life, God loves you, and your friends will always be here! God Bless! -[BT]"

Senior of Anything Goes: RG
Going back to freshman year, early on I didn't really talk with anyone all that much.  However, a half day came along and I didn't exactly want to walk down to Subway alone before rehearsal started.  Basically, what happened was I asked him and a group he was with if I could walk down with them.  I got a weird look from everyone else, but RG was all, "Why wouldn't it be okay if you came with us?"  I really think that what he did there really speaks well to musical, that anybody can really talk to anyone at just about any time, and eat lunch together.  Back to the whole accepting thing.

Current Senior: MS
MS is someone that I can still always talk to without fear of judgement.  A lot of the times when I'm feeling down, I'll just text her, vent for a little while, and get cheered up.  Fortunately, it doesn't happen that often, but it's nice to know that I have a great friend like that who's always willing to listen.

Current Junior: TH
Current Sophomore: J
These next two kind of really go together, so I'm going to cover them at the same time.  These people I have to admire for not doing musical.  People say all the time that anyone can join, and we will be accepting of anyone.  However, some people just have other things they want to do.  We can be accepting of anyone, but some people just feel like they don't belong.  It has nothing to do with talented, both of these people are as talented musically as can be.  Furthermore, both come from families that have always done the shows, musical families.  But they have had the strength to do what they want to do.  And I admire and respect that.

Current Freshman: BF
BF is the embodiment of the happiness that comes out of doing musical.  The fulfillment of putting on a show, the joy that comes out of the accomplishment, and the spirit of doing it.  She is also the spirit of JF's wisdom, that we aren't competing against each other, and is quite proud of her ability to be satisfied with what she gets (especially seen in The Little Mermaid).  She has also been a great friend to me, and always seems to be excited at any chance we get to see each other.  I love being around her, and she's been a great friend to me.

I would have concluded by saying how much I loved everyone, and how I didn't mean to offend anyone here, and then put out the same address/letter offer that I actually gave (and meant!).  I think the speech I gave was less thought out, but fit better into the context of the evening.  At any rate, it's been a great four years, and I'm going to miss it.

-NM

Final Preparations

Well, the final week arrives.  The show opens tonight.

I can not say that I have had as strong of a case of Tech Week as last year (see my diagnosis).  I don't know why, maybe it's just that it is hard to get four times without figuring out how to make it through it.  Either that, or it's going to hit me in the next few days.

I must say, I think the show is going well.  The cast is into it, and we're all having a good time.  I only sense that good things are to come.  There's been a strong sense of unity, hardworking spirit (even commented on by Mr. V), and general enthusiasm.  I love working with this cast.  It's a lot of fun!

There has only been fun coming out of this show.  I am excited to go to rehearsals and perform.  Quite a contrast from last year.  The cast has a lot to do with it, and I feel a lot of it has to do with the fact that Pirates of Penzance is a much funner show to do than Anything Goes.

I also like the fact that we've changed several traditions that most people weren't happy with.  The Green Room is no longer strictly for seniors and principals only.  And the parts of the pre-show rituals that made everyone feel uncomfortable have been removed (to the delight of the majority) and replaced with a focus-generating moment of silence.  I personally think that this is a good thing, and am quite happy with it.

I must say that I think that the show is going to be good.  Those who have seen it like it, and I am only expecting better things to come.

There have been two extremely special moments so far this week.

The first was at notes on Tuesday.  Mr. C said, "[N], it took me four years to say this, but you are doing a really good job!"  That's always nice to hear.

The second was that I actually led our pre-show traditions for the senior citizens show.  Who knows that I could ever have authority over high schoolers?

-NM

PH

Ah, yes.  How do you fit all of PH into a single post?

Well, let's start at the beginning.  We first met when I was in 7th grade, him in 6th, during the-show-that-must-not-be-named.  He played a very overdramatic role.  And so it began.  That summer and the next year we were both in my first two PAC summers and Sound of Music.  I can't say that any real friendship formed at that point.  Sure, we knew each other, but were never the best of friends.

PH is the kind of person that everybody likes.  For some reason or another, everyone wanted to be around him.  For a while, I couldn't figure it out.  Always just assumed it was his flamboyant nature that did the trick.  It's true that people are generally pleased and entertained by that sort of thing.

High school arrived, and we didn't really see each other much my sophomore year.  My junior year, it began.  Now, we were in ensemble together, and most importantly musical, which is when it started.  We were both in Anything Goes, and I get the sense that at times he was as displeased as I was.

This past year, I think I've finally figured him out.  I've seen and gotten closer to him than I feel I ever have before.  We have identical singing voices, are in the same section for ensemble, and the same section for chorus of the same chorus class.  If that doesn't lead to a bond, nothing will.  And it did.  We've talked, helped each other out, and pushed each other along the way.  Through that, and through musical.

And I think I've finally figured him out:

3 Reasons People Like PH

1. He's funny, with a sense of humor that everyone appreciates.
2. He's entertaining, as his personality is so original.
3. He makes everyone feel special.  This reason is probably the biggest one of them all.  He will always go out of his way to pay a compliment to someone.  Yesterday at rehearsal, backstage, we were talking about the show, and he made me feel like I was the greatest thing to ever go on stage.  He makes just about everyone feel like that.  Just think about it.  If you know this guy, you probably have had some experience with him where he has said something that you really took to heart in a good way.  

So there.  Hopefully we will only get closer, but for now, we've got a show to do!  Away away!

-NM

My 18th Birthday

So, the dramatic transition from childhood to adulthood.  I assure you, I don't feel any different.  I'm still the same person.

Woke up to numerous happy birthdays from family, and several others over text.  I tell you, it was nice to know that people remembered.  Even though the signs weren't quite up when I came down the stairs.

School was nice.  I got several happy birthdays, even though I feel a lot of them were prompted by the fact that I was wearing the cape (for one of the last times too).  Still, overall, a remarkably good day at school, though moderately uneventful.

After school was a nice, easy rehearsal.  That was great.  All week, it seems all we have had is one intense rehearsal after another, and that's going to continue into the next two weeks almost nonstop.  Now, it's easy rehearsal yesterday, and today and tomorrow off, so we can completely regroup before the hard stuff really starts.  If only that didn't mean missing every single dance class...

After rehearsal, our whole family went out to dinner.  It was nice, and we all had a really good meal, even though it was a Lenten Friday.  Good conversation, and a nice atmosphere.

Then came presents when we got home.  I didn't really ask for anything, and I didn't really expect anything either.  I got some nice sweatpants, some shorts, a nice shirt, and then the present from A and V.

What A and V did was go through old photographs of shows that I had been in ever since first grade, and created scrapbook pages for all of them.  This had a huge range of time (literally ranging from 1st Grade's E-I-E-I-Oops! to this summer at PAC), and had a lot of pictures.  It was fun to look at all the old pictures, both of me, and of me with others (including AG and I in When Silents was Golden, and KM and I in The Wizard of Oz, and various other photos).  There are still more pages to do, they didn't quite finish, but it really was something special.

After that, I had a piece of cake, and went to bed as happy as ever.  It had been a good day, and had ended on a great note.

-NM

P.S. I find it extremely funny that for all the blogs I follow, everyone either hasn't posted in a long time, or their most recent post has apologized for how long it has been since they last posted.  I guess it's that time of year!

Cabaret 2014

Yes, I did it this year.  Why?  I got talked into it.  I'm glad I did do it though, I just do believe that some people who talked me into it made a lot bigger deal out of it than the Cabaret deserves.

I did a tap number.  Puttin' on the Ritz.  My mom was will to pay Miss B for private lessons so we could get this thing choreographed and put together.  I have to thank her so much for that.  The number would have been terrible otherwise.

It was a hard number to do, especially considering that I was doing it on a raked stage.  I mean, really especially since I was doing it on a raked stage.  I almost fell once, but as a whole I think it went very well (and many thanks to NB for having my water ready to go as soon as I was done!).  Even better, O was in town with her CMU audition the next day (we can hope for the best!), so she was able to come see it, which was a great thing.

The Cabaret is not a big production.  It is a relatively informal evening, with a lot of relaxed acts.  It is a chance for people to do things onstage that might not normally have a venue or an audience to do so.  I have never done a full tap solo before.  That was my contribution, and this was my chance.  For several other people it was there chance.  However, such a performance does not always necessarily deserve a big audience, or a lot of hype.  It is small potatoes.  It doesn't even deserve nerves from the people involved.

I know this is a short post, but a longer one would be contradictory to my previous point.

-NM

Last PMEA

Well, it's always nice to go out on a good one.

Wednesday was auditions, and I knew I was no guarantee.  I went in, and I wasn't exploding with nerves.  I was towards the end, so I got to hear a lot of people, and everyone seemed to know their music, which I feel was one of my advantages last year.  I was a little sick, and had a stuffy nose.  Throughout my auditions, I felt my tone was good, and I was on the notes, but I did feel like my breathing was off, that I was taking too many breaths.

Finding out that I didn't make states was a disappointment, even if it didn't come as a surprise.  I haven't been training my voice especially since last year, the placement of the festival was at a better time for more other people to have learned their music, and there's the cold on top of that.  I will say I was hoping for a little better than 13th chair, but it doesn't really matter anyway.  We can all hope that JD will do well.

But once that was over, the festival was a lot of fun!  Great conductor, and some good music, though I feel we spent way too much time on "I am the Rose of Sharon".  We put on a great concert, and got a very good reception.

The non-competetive nature of PMEA became more evident to me than ever over these past few days.  For the people who got in, it wasn't just about excitement of them getting in, they also seemed genuinely disappointed when they found out that someone else wasn't going to states.  The purpose of the arts is to create something special, not to compete and determine who is the best.  The only purpose of auditions at these festivals is to keep the number of people involved manageable.  And that's all PMEA really is.  A place to perform concerts, and we audition because we all want to do it again.

I need to spend the rest of the year trying to convince more QV people to do PMEA, otherwise no one will, and it will slowly die out.  Hopefully I can succeed.

-NM

MF

There are some people in the world who you are really good friends with, but you can't seem to find anything to talk about ever.  MF is not one of those people.

We met during the middle school play that we were in together during my 7th grade year, her 6th grade year.  There was no grand story of meeting, as there really isn't for most people.  We talked, had a good time both that year and the year after during Sound of Music.  

A year off, and then we're back in the high school show together for the past three years.  And more memories are shared with that.  It's such a nice thing, to have something in common that you can talk about with someone.  Add the past two years of PAC to that, and it almost becomes inevitable that we would become friends, even if not the greatest of friends.

Though I would call us pretty good friends.  Granted, she seems to be one of those people who can jump into almost any conversation naturally with almost anyone, and manage to fit right in.  I'm not calling her a chatterbox, for the conversations are always very civil and polite.    You can always seem to have a good conversation with MF.

Just today, we were talking about a lot of things, from the Olympics, to what shouldn't be on TV, to a lot of other things I can't remember.  We have good conversations. She said to me once, "I really like talking to you."  I really like talking to her too.  It always is an uplifting thing that I look forward to, even if it doesn't happen that often.

I can only hope that these continue.  At times, I wonder how many people I'm actually going to be leaving behind when I got to college.  She is definitely someone I'll miss.

-NM

18

As I suspected.

Less than half the people who were viewing my blog at this time last year are viewing it now.  Honestly, I'm surprised it's not even lower, but who knows why that could be?

Of course, the amount of views I get is directly related to the number of posts I put up.  More posts = most views.  But viewers?

It doesn't surprise me that I'm losing people, really.  I am posting less and less, and the posts I've been putting out have been of pretty low quality.  Most of this is due to the ten thousand other things I have going, and the fact that I've prided myself this year on actually sleeping as much as I should be.

I don't blame the people who have left for leaving, and I realize that I am preaching to the choir here, but just felt like it had to be said.  To the 18 of you who are still with me (5 from QVMS, 8 from QVHS, 1 from another high school, 3 from college, and 1 who either doesn't know where they are or didn't respond), thank you for sticking with me.  I appreciate it.

-NM

A State of Disconnection

What is happening?

I don't know why I suddenly am bothered now, but I hardly see some of my closest friends anymore.

Granted, this was always going to be the case with several of them.  The college kids go off to college, and the people who are going to move away are going to move away, and the middle schoolers are still going to be in middle school.  But what about the people who I should be hanging out with every day in high school?

Where does it start?

Does it come from the fact that it seems like I have almost no classes with any of my closest friends at all?  That I instantly lose a link of conversation during school that they all seem to share?

Does it come from the fact that I've always been a quiet person?  From the fact that whenever there are group conversations going on, I'm always left alone?  The one person who it seems isn't contributing?

Does it come from the fact that I'm simply just out of modern pop culture?  That I don't following meaningless TV shows and bad musicians, and therefore lose several points of conversation there?

Does it come from the fact that I have so much I do outside of school that I hardly see anyone outside of school and school-related activities ever?  I can't even remember when the last time I met with a friend from school just for the sake of spending time together.

What ever is it?  And what is it for?  Is this preparing me for the ultimate social knife that's going to sever everything when I go to college?  Should I be separating or moving in?  And then there's the fact that someone mentioned prom to me, and I have absolutely no plans for that yet.

What ever am I going to do?

-NM

The School Clothes Concert

There was a concert.

It was the absolute most informal of occasions.  The orchestra was dressed in their everyday clothes.  The audience all came at less than two hours notice, about the same notice the performers had.  The instrument cases were scattered around the house of the auditorium, restricting the places where the audience could actually sit.  Not that it was really an issue.  At most, about a quarter of the house was filled.  The house lights weren't even turned off.

But the concert was really good.  Some amazing pieces.  Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet.  Elgar's Enigma Variation Nimrod.  Glinka's Russlan and Ludmilla.  Marquez's ever-uplifting Danzon No. 2.  Brilliant music.  Although maybe not completely rehearsed, still a very good performance by a very good orchestra.

I was in it.  That concert was known as PMEA District Orchestra 2014.

The Polar Vortex has been brutal.  The concert originally scheduled for the following day (today) had to be cancelled due to weather.  Just another casualty in this long, cold, winter.

I still really enjoyed the experience.  Not just the fact that I got to play with a really good orchestra.  The fact that I got to participate in such a concert.

I feel it served as a reminder the the audience that we all were still just high schoolers.  We didn't transform into different people when we went up on stage, as sometimes you see when you get the normal formal concert.

Also, it served to remind all of us that the concert is not the important part.  It's the playing of the music.  The only reason we would have done a concert was for the climax of the learning experience.  Although, we didn't get the climax, we still got the learning experience.

And the audience not being packed to see such beautiful music?  The Joshua Bell experiment all over again.  We may not be at his level, but people just couldn't pack the house at less than two hours notice.  But to be honest, it didn't matter.  We got the learning experience.  I got to play with a orchestra.  Who could ask for anything more?

-NM

Senior Year of Musical

Well, so far so good!

The show is going to be phenomenal if we can keep this up.  In less than a week's time we have almost finished staging the entire first act (total of nine songs completed), and have sung through the entire thing.  People are already starting to get the feel of the show, we sound good.  Everyone loves this show already, it's just so much fun to do.  Already those special funny moments are starting to pop up here and there, and the energy is really high!

Chaos may be on the horizon.  Especially with the unfortunate necessity that "When the Foeman..." is going to be staged without the lead policeman (with the guilt resting entirely on me here).  And the fact that Act One isn't going to be looked at in earnest for a long time.  And the fact that people are going to have to accept the fact that they will have to study the music outside of rehearsal.  I'm not terribly worried though.

Today in rehearsal was quite possibly the experience that I have been waiting for.

Even though it was a music rehearsal today, it was my songs that we were working on, "When the Foeman..." and "When a felon...".  I sat up front, did my thing (which I made sure I had prepared coming into rehearsal), and the rest of the cast sang their part of the songs.  It was a little splash of reality when that portion was finished and we went back to the Act One Finale where I was just a part of the ensemble.

Some people just don't understand that the moment like this has been in the waiting.  I got tastes of it all through middle school, between Drake and Lumière, but I haven't had anything like this since then.  A song I can almost call my own.  So many people I know have, and I've watched then do it.  For me, I feel like it's always been just out of reach.  I finally caught it today.  And it was a great feeling.

-NM

3 Things You May Not Have Known About Wicked

Wicked is a great show.  I've seen it three times now, and every time I see it I realize more about it than I did the previous time I saw it.

However, I don't like it for the same reasons most people like it.  Sure, it does have great songs, and funny dialogue, and the plot line is extraordinary.  However, it's the second layer that makes it so good. The things that you don't notice the third time around.  As someone told my mom, "I've seen it five times, and I'm just now starting to get it."

IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, PLEASE STOP HERE, AND READ THIS AFTER YOU HAVE. CONTAINS SPOILERS.

And now, what you maybe didn't notice.  In order of importance

1. Goodness and Wickedness are not nouns in the same sense that we think of them as in our everyday lives.  In the land of Oz, Good and Wicked are Divine Forces.  A lot of things in the story are done for "Good", not "good".  However, the writers are making the point that Good is not always good, and that Wicked isn't always wicked.  The title Wicked Witch of the West is appropriate, because Elphaba's actions don't appease Good, but that doesn't mean she is wicked by any means.
2. People complain that the happy ending was cheesy, and added to make the audience a little happier.  This is a lie (maybe it's just looking at things a different way, but it's definitely not true).  The ending is foreshadowed on not one, but two occasions.  The first is in the very opening scene, during the final chorus of "No One Mourns the Wicked", Elphaba's shadow can be seen behind the clock (more on that later).  The second is during "I'm not that girl", when it is raining, Elphaba is getting wet, and she doesn't melt.  No one can argue that there weren't clues to the ending.  Frankly, L. Frank Baum's idea to make her melt is a lot cheesier.
3. This one I'm still figuring out, but the whole show is part of the Time Dragon Clock, referred to by name twice.  The proscenium has the dragon on top, the entire scenery is made of of gears with a clock in the background, and the entire floor is shaped like one giant cog.  The dragon moves three times: before the opening scene, the revealing of the monkeys and the Wizard's wickedness, and when Dorothy's house is in the air.  Arguably, these happen to be the three biggest turning points in the show.  The meaning, I'm still figuring out.  Any help?

And that's just three.  Even listening to the music, you can figure out the first one.  Any analysis of the second two unfortunately requires seeing the show.

I guarantee you, if you didn't realize these things already, you will never look at Wicked the same way again.

-NM

Updated 4/3/14

I think I've figured out number 3.  It came when KP made known to me that the clock goes up to XIII.  The Time Dragon Clock represents fate.  The whole show is controlled by the wheels and gears of fate and time.  It makes sense, but if you can think of anything else, please comment.

-NM

Bugsy Malone Jr. & Biggest Mistake Ever

Bugsy Malone Jr.

My involvement in this show has been between one third and one fourth of what it was for Little Mermaid.  I haven't felt very involved in this show at all.  In fact, I missed almost all of Tech Week, and opening night.  GZ was the choreographer, and she did a good job with it.  I just wasn't a whole lot of help.

The matinee show went well.  It was certainly not the same show that I had seen that previous Monday. This show had a lot more energy, and it seems that the cast had begun to embrace the silliness that the show needs.  There were a few screw ups, (most notably in KM and GS's scene), but the cast handled them well.

Between the shows was a fun time with piano playing and socializing, as well as getting ready for the next show.  The high schoolers all made 60 second speeches.  I don't remember what I said, and I'm pretty sure it made no sense at all.

The second show went well.  At least as good as the first.  And it finally got the standing ovation that KR deemed so important to the show's success.  KR and MC were crying after the show because it was their last middle school show.  The other 8th graders realized that they would now be moving on to bigger and better things.

After the show was the cast party, which I must say was my least favorite of all time.  It was loud, and the beginning was a lot of dancing, and I can't dance.  Eventually, the karaoke started, and that helped things a lot.  I sang Americain Pie.  Then I made my worst mistake ever.

-NM

Biggest Mistake Ever

I left without saying goodbye.

-NM