Light Up Night 2012

I did it.  For the first time in six years I went.

The most interesting part isn't about what I did there.  It's how I got sucked into going.

My parents are away this weekend.  My mom confronted me about tonight well in advance.  She told me that if I planned on going, it couldn't be impromptu.  I had to know exactly when I was going, and when I would be back.  I wasn't planning on going.  I figured I might if someone invited me, I might consider it, but this is Light Up Night.  It's impromptu in nature, and the conditions given weren't going to happen.

Throughout the week no one invited me.  That was fine.

Today in school no one invited me.  That was fine, I just wasn't going to go.  At rehearsal today for Little Mermaid, a few people asked me if I was going, but I told them no, and explained why.  After rehearsal, OS asked if I wanted to hang out with her and AE beforehand, but that wasn't a possibility with Nana and Granddaddy watching the house.

The events of the evening are best presented in a timeline:

• 5:15 - Pizza arrives, I begin eating dinner.
• 5:17 - Receive text from BF, asking if I am going to Light Up Night
• 5:30 - After dinner, tell her I am not coming.  Ask if she is.
• 6:09 - She replies, telling me she is already up.
• c. 6:30 - Fireworks begin, I watch from bedroom window.  I then continue reading book.
• 7:04 - Receive text from KR, simply saying "hi [N]".  I reply, asking if she is at Light Up Night
• 7:14 - She tells me that she is, and that I should come.
• 7:15 - I tell her it's too late now, and that I'll go next year.
• 7:16 - She asks if I am sure, I tell her to go have a good time.  I go to practice piano
• 7:19 - KR texts me "so whats up?" I don't see it right away, because I have to finish my piano concerto
• 7:28 - I reply with the full details of why I can't go to light up night.
• 7:29-7:33 - Various texts, we agree that it would be too chaotic.
• 7:36 - I receive phone call from BF.  She asks if I am there, and I tell her I'm not coming.  She tells me I am coming.  I agree to check with Nana and Granddaddy, and then text her back.  She sounds like she really wants me there.
• Immediately following - I confirm with Granddaddy, I have to be home around 9.
• 7:39 - We agree on a meeting place, I hurry up.
• 7:46 - I arrive.

The night was fun.  Various people went in and out of the group, such as ZG, JI, MC, and even LW, but consistently there were BF, ES, KR, PR, CP.  It involved searching for people in crowds, ninja, duck duck goose.  Towards the end of the time, BF and CP had to sing at SU Methodist Church, and I agreed to watch.  I ended up singing with them.  After that, I headed home, via the agreement, but I had a great time.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking right now?  That I should have been embarrassed to be seen in the company of people 3+ years younger than me the entire night?  I wasn't.  Frankly, I probably had a better time with them than I would have with people my own age.

The thing is that no high schoolers wanted me with them as badly as these middle schoolers did.  In fact, no one in high school ever asked me whether or not I was there.

I lead a strange life.

-NM

TP

I am amazed.

He didn't say anything.  He just left.  He had been missing a lot of school, and I guess we all just assumed it was another one of those days.

When you think about it, he never talked about himself.  It was always about something else.

I can't say I knew him all that well.  We had many brief encounters, but never a lasting friendship.  But he was nice.  I won't say he had anything against me, we just weren't best friends or anything.

He was the only freshman in ensemble last year, and a tenor.  He was good, definitely deserved his spot.  I don't know why he didn't try out for musical, because he knew practically everyone in it.  Last year that is, I now see why he didn't try out this year.

At the courthouse there were only 4 tenors.  TP was missing.  No one knew where he was, just that he wasn't in school that day.  I found out after school that he had moved away, and was not coming back.  Drama club was in chaos.  I mean, seriously, how do you move and not tell anyone?

Under the GC College banner in Mr. B's room, there are the words TP 2056, preparing the world for when TP's going to be president.  Yesterday, next to those words, we found he had wrote a brief goodbye.

-NM

ES

She is BF's sidekick.  Wherever BF goes, she shall follow.  They are great friends, don't get me wrong, but there definitely is a balance of power.

And they are both characters, and foils.  BF is positively all over the place, ES is calm and collected, very straightforward.  If you were to write a movie, these two characters would be a comedy team.  Every now and then throughout the show, BF would come up with an idea, and ES would just be like, "Here we go again..." or something like that.

There are two instances that I would like to recall for you.

• This took place early on in the rehearsal process.  BF came up to me saying that she and ES had a few questions.  Actually it was more like BF had a few questions, and they were written on ES's hand.  During this session, BF asked me for my phone number, and whether or not I would be her expert for her CSI project.  ES had nothing to gain.
• The second one actually took place in rehearsal today.  BF decided to put ES's hair up with a hair clip.  It looked ridiculous.  But BF wouldn't let her take it off.  She said that she looked like a librarian.  But ES kept it in.  She seemed really embarrassed, but I can't think of another reason for her to keep it in except that BF told her to.

Do you get the picture?  Don't get me wrong.  There is no hostility between the two whatsoever.  It's just that when BF texts me saying that if I don't get a lead she and ES will protest to Mr. V, I really wonder whether ES would actually protest, or just stand there in the background and watched BF protest.  (Note: No protest was necessary, or took place.)

-NM

Trip to Columbus

So after Thanksgiving, we left for S.  We spent that afternoon at Baba and Jedo's house.  We played cards, mostly euchre, and I won one and lost one.  Part of that afternoon was spent at the shooting range, where I shot a gun for the first time in my life.  I didn't do so great with a pistol, but I was okay with a rifle.  We came back to the house briefly, and then Uncle R, Aunt F, A, E, and R, and I (a pronoun) left for C.

The 2-hour ride to C was very quiet, with music in the background.  I spent most of the time on my phone.  I decided to check with a few of my friends on how thanksgiving went.  Two responded.  I hadn't talked to MS for a while, and we went on for several hours, and almost 100 texts.  It's a shame, we can't talk about normal stuff anymore: all we do is either update each other on what's been going on in our lives, or lament about how much we miss each other, but it's still great to hear from her.  We stopped at Uncle R's house to drop off R, and we had pizza there.  Then came the last 30 minute stretch  to Uncle R's house, where I would be staying.  We all pretty much went straight to bed.

The next day was highlighted by the OSU-UM game (See OSU: 26 UM: 21).  After the game, we all returned home and watched college football the rest of the evening.

And today I got up, packed up all my stuff, and went to their church.  It was interesting.  Very small, low attendance, and the choir was pathetic.  Then we all went to G Inn for brunch, where we met my dad.  The food was terrific, but my dad couldn't stop complaining about how A wouldn't stop talking.  

I drove the ride back.  I now have 65 completed hours of driving, and it has been 7 months since I got my permit.

-NM

OSU: 26 UM: 21

It's not often that I can let the football fan in me out.  In the world of musical theater, sports talk is greatly discouraged.  I remember one time last year when AF had to ask for 30 seconds to talk about football.  I snuck in something about March Madness, and was suppressed immediately.

That being said, the OSU vs. UM game is still one of the biggest rivalries in sports.  I have been to the past three matchups of these two teams at O Stadium, and OSU has always pulled off a win.  This time, I knew would be different, because J wouldn't be there.  My eardrums might not explode.

Me, A, E, and Uncle R left the house at 11:00 for a noon game.  We figured the band show would start a half hour before the game, and a half hour for the 2-mile walk.  The opening band show was everything it should be.  Traditional, and perfectly executed.  Being the last game of the season, the OSU seniors were all honored, and you could tell the crowd was really into it.

The first half was entertaining, but OSU just played very sloppy.  A dropped pass here, a muffed punt there, and way too many penalties.  Between the first and second quarters, they honored JT and the 2002 national championship team.  That was the loudest part of the whole game.  At halftime, we made a 52-yard field goal to narrow the score to 21-20.  But you could tell that no one in he crowd legitimately though that OSU was going to lose.

The OSU halftime show was phenomenal.  The theme was Fantasia, and contained elements from both the original and Fantasia 2000.  During the nutcracker song, the band formed two stick-figure people and actually had them dancing.  During the sorcerer's apprentice, the band became a broom, and picked up other band members being a water bucket.  During Rhapsody in Blue, they became a piano, and the keys actually played.  It was just fantastic.

The second half was like a different game.  The OSU defense held UM to the point where they never crossed midfield the entire second half.  The OSU offense was not great, and they should have gotten more than two field goals, but it was enough.  Although not as entertaining, we still got the win.  Final score 26-21.

Were we cold? Yes.  Was there so little room that we could barely sit down? Yes.  Did we complain? No. (Except for A during the 2-mile walk back).  We had such a great time that we didn't care.

-NM

P.S. I am not looking at OSU for a college option.  Way too big.

Thanksgiving 2012

My favorite holiday.

This was a very different year, but was still a lot of fun.  Unlike every year since my existence, the big family gathering was at our house.  We figured this year would be too much to have Baba and Jedo host the meal, and we are the closest to their place.

But traditions still had to be maintained, and the most important one of those is the annual Thanksgiving Day Walk.  Normally, we all go to the S Country Club near Baba and Jedo's house, and hike there.  However, this year it was obviously impossible.  SH Park did quite nicely.  There was a lot of talk that it wouldn't be any fun, because we would be on trails, and it wouldn't be the same, but we had a great time.  We arrived, took the trails that went down the big hill to the stream, and about halfway down we split up into two groups and played hide and seek.

I was in the seeking group with Uncle R, L, and K.  Hiding was Uncle R, J, A, V, A, E, and R.  Uncle R was found first, he had not enough sufficient time to find a hiding place, we would learn why later.  Then, I heard so much noise coming from one section across the stream that I had to check it out.  A and V were easily found.  When I returned, I learned that A was literally buried, and Uncle R had almost stepped on him.  Uncle R had so little time to hide because he was burying her.  For the next 20 minutes or so, we were looking for J, E, and R.  We heard a strange bird calling.  We learned via incoming text messages that it was E and R making the sounds, and not real birds.  On our way to find them, we stumbled across J.  I soon located E and R, and they were declared co-champions.

The dinner was great.  The food was good, and the fellowship was superb.  At the table, we seemed to just keep telling anti-jokes.  Somehow, we got to A showing us this funny Youtube video.  Warning: It is extremely racist, but that's okay in our family.  After sharing it among the kids, the adults viewed it, and got a kick out of it too.  Then came a ping pong tournament among me, A, J, and R.  I won the whole tournament, even though J finally beat me.  Then came a mini-show by V, A, me, and K.  Then more ping pong, and when half the group left for S, the rest of us settled down and watched some football.

I love thanksgiving.  My favorite holiday, by far.  Some people complain about seeing all their family members, but I never really understood that.  I love my family.  We have such a good time together.  How could anyone not like that?

-NM

High School Musical Cast

So I said in "A Tale of Two Callbacks" "I just want a chance to show the directors that I'm something other than a dancer."  

This cast list is an accomplishment.  I didn't get a huge part, but I got a lot to do.  As the Purser, I will get an opportunity to say lines and act.  As part of Tap Ensemble #1, I will get an opportunity to dance hopefully to the full extent of my ability.  And, as part of the Sailor's Quartet (even though it isn't a quartet yet...) I will get to sing!  This is basically recognition from Mr. V, Mr. B, and MG!  I couldn't be happier about myself.

As for the fourth person in the quartet, we really have no idea who that's going to be.  JD brought up the good point that if he's fair game, then what's to stop the directing team from putting in BT?  

We seriously have no idea who's going to be our bass.

Other than that, almost all my friends should be pretty much happy.  RH and RS both got the parts they wanted, and wanted each other to get (and made sure everybody knew they wanted each other to get).  GZ is dance captain, which everybody said she should be, and will be good for her.  SR, CR, JN, and OS all got into Tap Ensemble #2, and KK and GA even got into Tap Ensemble #1.  JR got Billy, which we all predicted.  AH got Whitney, and KD got the Captain.  AH and AS are sure to nail the two Chinese guys.

As for Evelyn, it was not RG as I had suspected.  RG got Moonface, which was a pretty obvious decision after callbacks, and PH got Evelyn.  He'll do a better job than I would have done, I'm sure of it.  I have no hard feelings.

And then there's KM.  Poor KM.  For the second year in a row, she's the runner up for a lead role.  As good as Guys and Dolls was, I still hold to the fact that KM was ripped off last year for Adelaide.  This year, I felt Reno was to close to call, in which case you really have to give it too the senior.  The thing is, RH and KM were really the only two people who could be Erma.  Once RH was decided as Reno, making KM Hope would leave no one for Erma.  I'm not saying RS didn't deserve Hope, but only that she or GZ wasn't going to be Erma.

To KM: Don't give up.  You're better than you're getting credit for.  In almost any other school district, you would be getting leads.  Don't let the result judge your performance.  

And I still have no idea who's going to be our bass.  If JD and BT are fair game, why not AF?

-NM

The Curse of the Mersisters

Ever since last year's disaster at Millie, I've been worried about injuries for this year.  Nothing's helping.  Specifically, the Mersisters have been a disaster.  Ever since we staged "She's In Love", I have yet to seen the number with all six in attendance.  Either one of them is missing, or I'm missing.

As I mentioned in "Update on Middle School Musical", MC was missing that whole week.  The week previous, either we didn't run the number, or DM was at cheerleading.  We were starting to notice that we always seemed to have five mersisters, never a perfect six-pack.

This past week wasn't any better.  On Monday there were apparently all six in attendance, but I wasn't there.  When I returned on Tuesday I was glad to find that MC had returned, but quickly also learned that ES had gone home from school sick.

Thursday sprung some hope.  All six mersisters were in attendance.  We seemed to have made progress.  However, during rehearsal ES took a bad fall.  She had to leave early in rehearsal and go home, her knee already swollen.   My mom took a look at her, and it looked bad, but was too hard to make any definite conclusions.

When I went to dance that night I was nervous.  I had visions of alternate mersisters in my head throughout dance.  Then, I myself had to sit down in class because my right calf, which hadn't hurt since this same time last year, was starting to hurt again.

Last year...

When I returned from Thanksgiving break last year I found that disaster had struck two of the stenogs.  DM had a broken arm.  She still managed to do the show, but some of the effect was definitely lost.  But bigger still, SC had fallen off of her horse.  She had some neck problems, and would be wearing a neck brace until the day of the show.  She was either not in attendance or marking the entire week.  On the day of the show, she said she could do the show.  I decided to let her do it, and she claimed afterwards that she felt terrible.  I would learn the next week that she had a dislocated rib and a twisted hip.  That horse fall had almost killed her, and she still did the show.

The difference is that this year, unlike last year, we can't do the number with one less dancer.  We would have to teach an alternate the choreography.

After dance class, I had acting and ES was there.  My dad had looked her over as well, and it was believed to be a bruised tendon, and it wouldn't stop her from doing the show.  Relief came over me, but we're not in the clear yet.  Thanksgiving break is only now in session, and even longer than last year.  When BF told me today that she fell down skating, I got pretty nervous.  She's fine, but I still am nervous.  I can't help but think that either ES's injury is worse than we think it is, or DM's going to break her arm again, or something worse is going to happen.

-NM

SA Middle School's Seussical Jr.

As I said to GC, OB, and EW after the show, "This is what we're up against."

When I came to see the show, I honestly didn't know who was in it except for DP and HJ.  However, I expected that there would be other people, and I was right.  HJ was featured as Gertrude, BD as the Cat, MC (I realize that I know way too many MCs) as Mayzie, CG as Mrs. Mayor.  As a whole, these people stood out above the rest.  They were phenomenal, while the ensemble as a whole was weak.  Horton had a good voice, but his musicality was, in general, off.  There were way too many people cast as the Bird Girls, and as a whole they didn't quite get involved enough.

Again, I have to complain about the choreography.  In general, it was simple, and incomplete.  There were significant pauses between steps, and it just didn't flow.  However, to the choreographer's credit, this show would be murder to try and choreograph.  Considering that they put together the show in a lot less time than we have for Little Mermaid, and the fact that there has to be seven or eight big dance numbers, I can see why they made it simple.

However, it brought back memories.  Being the Jr. script, it was the exact same script that we used at WAS in 2009.  I knew the lines before they were spoken, and grimaced when someone would screw something up.  Our production was not great, but keep in mind we had the age range issue.

All in all, it was one of those shows that the cast could have been a lot better with another few weeks.  It was well-rehearsed, but with more time it could have been amazing.

Don't want to compare to Little Mermaid yet.

-NM

Response to a Quote 11/14/12

I'm texting BF about callbacks, and I'm just telling her how I'm not optimistic at my chances at Captain, when she responds with this:

"That is your problem - you do not realize both how good you are and how much you mean to people!"

I couldn't respond to that one over texts.  I've decided to take it on here.

This has been an issue that has been troubling me.  Everyone tells me I'm good.  Whenever I play piano/sing for people I don't know, I always get a good reaction.  At my shows, people always come up to me and tell me I did a good job.  But I wonder how far it can be taken.  I've been in the high school shows, but no one gets cut, and I've never been in consideration for a big part.  I made ensemble, but none of the tenors have gotten cut the past two years, and I wonder whether I would have made it in otherwise.  One only has to watch one class at WDA to realize how bad of a dancer I am.  At PAC, there were chopped liver girls getting better parts than I did.  No one is going to tell me that I'm bad, so I wonder.  Do I actually have any talent?  Or am I just disillusioning myself?

The second part bugs me as well.  Do I mean anything to people?  Sometimes I look around and feel insignificant.  I talk to people about my troubles, but no one ever comes to me with theirs.  On the weekends, I rarely see any of my friends.  Summer vacation can go by without me even communicating with anyone at all.  I look around and I see people sharing memories, and I'm always the person who wasn't there.  Whenever something happens, I'm always the last one to know.

The following statement I have been saying to myself for sometime, and I think it's time to let it out:

I am no one's best friend.  I have good friends, but I am no one's good friend.

Can anyone try to argue with me on this?

Please? It would be reassuring.

-NM

A Good Morning

Today started fun.  And ensemble had nothing to do with it.

Apparently yesterday in chorus we had such a good rehearsal that we didn't need to do anything today. After a motivation speech to bring stuff to donate, we had the whole period free.  Being 1st period, I had no work I needed to do.

It started with me and Mr. B being proclaimed great huggers by KK, CK, and AP.  This is something that has only happened to me twice before, by BF and RH.  Then we went into Mr. B's office and chatted.  We played the drums, talked about classes, old chorus/orchestra memories, took pictures, and had fun.  In addition to a great hugger, I was proclaimed to have a great smile as well.  Not once did the word "callback" get mentioned.  This was good.  I really needed something to get my mind off of it.

When KK and AP just started being KK and AP, I left the room.  I started pacing as I often do (see Social Judgement), when I received a text message.  After wondering who could have texted me, I saw it came from OS.  Keep in mind she was in the room at that time.  I looked at her, and she was working on her computer.  When I read the message, it said "Stop pacing, you're making me anxious!".  I look at her again, and she just smiled at me.

Because I couldn't exactly keep pacing now, I plopped myself down at the keyboard.  I played what I could of the Pathethique, except not in the piano setting.  I actually sounded really cool in Ultimate X or whatever it was.

The period ended shortly after, but I was happy.  I was worried that as callbacks approached, chorus class would be getting harder and harder for me (just because it includes RH, RG, and KM, and yesterday it was), but I see that it's not an issue.  Hopefully, tomorrow won't be...

-NM

Update on Middle School Musical

Yesterday was a fun day.

Half day of school, which as we all know means at least 4 hours of rehearsal.

So when school lets out, the 6th graders have already arrived due to their school letting out even earlier.  They ask what to do about lunch.  With the fear that food in the auditorium is a bad idea, I tell everyone to eat in the back hallway.  When everyone else arrived, the hallway started to get a little packed, but everyone was settling in.  When Mr. V arrived, he had no objection to people eating in the auditorium. 

It began with a quick music review, while I took small groups behind the curtain to work on some choreography.  Due to TE being kicked out, KR was chosen to take his place in "Human Stuff", and we just reviewed that a little.  This was followed by a review of the kicking section of "Kiss the Girl", and "One Step Closer".  

Then came a full run-through.  This went very well.  I took notes and gave ratings (see below).  During long breaks between music numbers, I socialized with a lot of the cast.  We talked about all sorts of thing, played cards, and just had a good time.  Because of the new harsh rules, and the fact that Mr. V was completely involved in the show, I was constantly being asked for permission to go to the bathroom/get a drink/etc.  It's annoying, but there really is no other way.

After the run-through, it was time for a choreography work-through, which included the giving of the notes and ratings.  I hammered "Under the Sea" until it reached the point where everyone was groaning.  "Kiss the Girl" is finally starting to make progress.  "She's in Love" is going to be fine.  I have to admit, the choreography for that is probably the best, which makes sense considering the circumstances.  I'm just worried that MC is going to have problems.  She was missing for this entire week.

All in all, I'm having such a fun time.  I said that it had the potential to be the most fun I've ever had doing a show, and it's living up to its expectations.  

And, the latest ratings...

"Human Stuff": 5

This has come together really fast.  It's not quite there yet, but considering we finished it on Tuesday, and KR only learned it on Thursday, it's going great!

"Under the Sea:": 7.2

I am so happy with the way this is turning out.  This has been my dream number since June when I first suggested the show to Mr. V, and I was working choreography in my head even before the show was announced.  Going to be a huge show stopper!

"She's in Love": 6.5

Another show stopper!  The audience isn't going to be ready for this number one bit, and the dancers are nailing the choreography.  Just where is MC...

"Les Poissons": 4.5

This number is still on the verge of awkward, but I'm not too worried.  We don't have the props yet, and that's going to change everything for the better, provided MC doesn't hit ES with the frying pan.

"One Step Closer": 4

This is the only number I'm actually worried about.  Neither GC and CB are amazing dancers, and they're thinking too much about the steps.  However, considering what is was just the day before...

"Kiss the Girl": 6
It's come a long way.  From the chaos on the days we actually choreographed it, to signs of good life.  It's got a long way to go, especially with the four featured dancers, but I'm convinced its going to make it.

We have four weeks of rehearsal left.  We're already doing full run-throughs.  This show is going to be awesome!

-NM

RH

Here's to one of my best friends ever.

Or at least she's one of my best friends.  Again, I'm pretty sure that I'm not one of her best friends.  And I don't blame her.  I've been a pretty terrible friend.  I have to apologize for the things I said about her on "Dance Class vs. Ensemble".  Just goes to show how mean I can be at times, even though she told me not to take them off.

I met her in the most unexpected of places: math class.  When I was in 6th grade, her in 7th, our math class only had 10 people in it.  Being the only two people in both this class and Honk!, we got to know each other.  In fact, math class became a huge deal my 8th grade/her 9th grade year, because I was commuting to the high school, and I actually knew her.

Middle school shows were bad, but we had a good time.  Honestly, everyone in Romeo and Juliet: Together (and alive!) at Last was pretty close, but that was one of our first chances at a better friendship (there were too many people in Honk!).

But when high school came things changed.  It wasn't just her anymore: I was finally starting to make other friends.  The past two years have been fun, exciting, and awesome, and she's been a big part of that.  She is one of my oldest friends.  Looking back at 6th grade and comparing it to now, she's one of the few people I'm still friends with.  Then, she was one of the only people I knew in the musical.  Now, she's the only one who has ever even tried to get me a prom date.

When she told me that she wanted me to be her Evelyn I was a little surprised.  I would have assumed that she wanted RG to be playing that part.  I had assumed that RG would be playing the part.  For her to tell me that I would be playing a part was something.  She was of great consolation last Tuesday.

Although we don't see each other any more, we are still friends.  She is one of the people I'm afraid to go to college, because I'm afraid that we won't keep in touch.

-NM

P.S.: I predicted she and JD would be dating when they were in middle school.  When I got the news, my first thought was, "It's about time!"

A Tale of Two Callbacks

Part 1: The Wizard of Oz

When the show was announced, everyone I knew told me that they already knew what part I was going to get: the scarecrow.  This included my family, Mrs. S, and even a lot of my friends.  I disagreed, and thought that the role was practically cast with someone else already, but I listened to them.  I let them get my hopes up.

The first round auditions came.  I did pretty well.  I personally thought that it was one of my best auditions ever.  When the callbacks were posted, it was just a list.  No parts were announced initially.  We all were in suspense for quite a long time, but everyone had convinced me that I had to be called back for the Scarecrow.

When we found out what parts we were actually called back for, I learned that I had not gotten called back for the Scarecrow.  In fact, I don't think I was ever in consideration.  As I had practically known the whole time, the part was practically pre-cast. 

Part 2: Anything Goes

When the show was announced, everyone I knew told me that they already knew what part I was going to get: Evelyn Oakleigh.  This included my family, Mrs. S, and even a lot of my friends.  I disagreed, and thought that the role was practically cast with someone else already, but I listened to them.  I let them get my hopes up.

The first round auditions came.  I did pretty well.  I personally thought that it was one of my best auditions ever.  When the callbacks were posted, it was just a list.  No parts were announced initially.  We all were in suspense for quite a long time, but everyone had convinced me that I had to be called back for Evelyn.

When we found out what parts we were actually called back for, I learned that I had not gotten called back for Evelyn.  In fact, I don't think I was ever in consideration.  As I had practically known the whole time, the part was practically pre-cast. 

In summary...

It's just annoying.  Even when I know that I stand no chance, I let everyone get my hopes up.  I haven't gotten a decent part in a long time, and everyone makes me think that it's my chance to get there again.  As I told RH, I just want a chance to show the directors that I'm something other than a dancer.

-NM