Response to Advice 3/5/13

I'm feeling bad backstage at musical rehearsal.  OS tries to ask me why.  I can't pinpoint it at first, but then I realize that it wasn't one thing.  It was everything.

The fact that I was backstage for a musical that I wasn't really enjoying being in.
The fact that nothing had come up about costumes, the choreography wasn't finished, and we're getting the same notes week after week after week.
The fact that prom asking season was coming, and the stress associated with that.
The fact that the entire ensemble had played a practical joke on the entire tenor section this morning, but it was clearly pointed at me.
The fact that I would rather be at dance now than there, but I'm gradually becoming rejected at dance because I'm always at rehearsals of some kind.
Just everything.

And she told me to relax.  I needed to do what she did:

Live in the moment.  Don't worry about anything that's happening any more than one week away.  Everything else will either work itself out, or you can worry about it then.

Also, don't worry about things that aren't your problem.  Let other people deal with them.  If you can't do anything about it, it's not of your concern.

I have never lived by either of these philosophies.  Never.  I'm always one to try and get involved, and to look ahead.  I'm always taking charge when necessary, not waiting for someone else to do it.  I'm always on top of things, making sure I meet the necessary deadlines and such.

And I don't plan on changing.  I'm sorry OS, but some things just have to be.  You can't make me change my way of life.  Even you gave indications that you were failing.  You said you were living in the moment, but you managed to give me a list of the things you "weren't thinking about" at that time.  And you remember quotes that people said a year, two years ago.

I'm sorry.  But this is just advice I'm not ready to take.

-NM